Dear Earthling

What a long road I’d traveled with the mighty and oh-so-powerful cigarette. The master of illusion, the real trickster. I never imagined in all my years as a smoker that I would ever ‘kick the habit.’ I found way too much, um…’joy,’ attached to all my smoking rituals.

Admittedly, I did try to quit once or twice and can still remember clearly the withdrawals that were unbearable and the painstaking moments when I would feel my willpower crumble, not to mention the bittersweet paradox of failure and satisfaction when I finally ‘gave in.’

I was tormented, a practitioner and teacher of yoga, and a smoker. It just never sat well with me. For years, the two wrestled with each other. I spent many thought-provoking moments pondering and wondering, what would eventually propel me out of my smoking habit? Certainly, I had convinced myself that I enjoyed smoking.

In December 2016, about 3 to 4 years into my yoga practice, a gentle shift started to happen, and the habit of smoking became unbearable. It sat uncomfortably in my emotional, physical and mental body. My awareness illuminated, and my feelings of hypocrisy amplified ever time I lit up after a class.

The deeper I got into my practice, the more my desire to inspire my students, by example, intensified. Not to mention that my physical body was fed up too (huffing and puffing during a strong vinyasa flow was not fun either).

In January 2017, I acknowledged that I was a nicotine addict and I quit. Cold Turkey. Just put them down. My wonderful husband joined me. My mother too.

It’s been 7 years now. Through my practice of yoga, I have developed a healthy relationship with my ‘addict.’ What I’ve learned on this journey is that eventually, maybe not immediately but eventually through the constant practice of mindfulness and yoga, you can kick the habit. Just keep unrolling your mat and showing up. The magic does happen eventually… it did for me… it will for you too.

May the force be with you.

Namaste.

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